Since we returned from visiting family on the west coast, spring has infiltrated the desolate winter darkness in Connecticut! Barren trees stooped over lifelessly have undergone a complete rejuvination as they now bear flower buds bursting with color. All the birds have returned and crimson-breasted cardinals flutter about as the bees explore the newly immerging tulips Pedro likes to lick as though decadent, icing glazed cupcakes. Jude and I go on daily walks in the running stroller that will help me shed 20 lbs, taking in the scenery and beauty around us.
Likewise, Jude has undergone even more changes as his personality shines through now that he’s no longer in the arduous “fetal stage” (first three months). His manual dexterity improves daily: Jude has the ability to steady his arms and grab at objects as long as they’re directly in front of him. Recently, one morning I was shocked when Big Boob popped out of his mouth only to have Jude use his hands to put her back in.
About a week ago I purchased a square cloth mat covered in red and white cartoonish animals in a zainy band: pandas playing flutes, zebras strumming guitars, etc. Springing from the corners are semi-circle bands extending from one end to the other, intersecting at the top (two in total). The black and red theme continues with stripes. Extending from the bands are a variety of oddly shaped critters such as a cosmic strawberry with four tentacles extending from its body and a mirror/puffy head in one. There’s even a butterfly with crinkly wings and a heart-shaped guitar.
It’s an apparatus created for the amusement of stoners and babies alike. Jude pumps his portly legs and flutters his arms like a bird when I put him down under it. Yesterday, he grasped the strawberry and attempted to shove it into his mouth, luckily without success.
Another great part about this stage is that he can hold his head up pretty well, which makes me much less nervous about having other people handle him. Previously, each time his head wasn’t properly supported, I’d think to myself, “There goes a few thousand brain cells!” as I envisioned his spongy cranium bounce against his skull.
For me, perhaps since the pregnancy was an “oops!”, I was scared essentially through the whole process, particularly regarding the part where he’d have to exit somehow. It’s interesting viewing the process from the opposite end, learning of Matt and my cousin’s pregnancies. A part of me wants to call them daily to assuage any worries and hold their hands as they choose which prenatal pills to buy. It’s such a natural reaction but during my pregnancy at times I was puzzled over why so many women wanted to give me advice that I thought I could just as easily read from my books. Now I realize more than just providing advice, they wanted to be sources of comfort.
One thing I’ve learned recently is that as the baby evolves and grows so should the way you interact with him. I think that I failed to realize how much Jude has changed when it came to sleeping at night.
Whenever I heard the littlest peep out of him, I’d pick him up from the bassinet and feed him. Don’t get me wrong- he loves to eat, but as a result he would scream every few hours as I inadvertently conditioned him to do so. Last night I told Matt I didn’t think I could cope with another day subsisting on only three or four hours of sleep (in much more explicit terms). He said he was going to try to rock the baby back to sleep and that I should go to bed in the other room. My initial instinct was that of worrying Jude would starve, but Matt was steadfast.
From 9 pm until 3 am, I slept (let the record show that’s the longest consecutive sleep I’ve had in 3.5 months). As I entered Jude’s teddy-bear laden room, Matt was awake, but Jude was sleeping soundly. He woke up in the night, Matt told me, but Jude went right back to sleep when his bassinet was rocked vigorously.
Giddy, I laid in bed, partially high from my six-hour slumber, for two hours, listening to the signs and grunts emitted from the bassinet as the birds chirped outside the window. Mother doesn’t always know right…